Wanted...

At what point do you decide that "the man" has it out for you?

A couple of months ago I was doing some laundry. (Yes, I'm single and I have to do my own laundry.) I ran upstairs once I got everything squared away to find two messages on my phone.

Message #1: Hey Grant, this is your mom. We just had two people from the sheriff's department out at our place asking us where you were last night. They said that there was a high speed chase leaving the bar in Emerado last night and that someone at the bar said it was you. I hope it wasn't you, and if it was...why didn't you stop out and say hi?

Message #2: Hello Mr. Sweeney, this is so and so from the Grand Forks county sheriff's department. You are a suspect in a high speed chase and DUI last night in Emerado, North Dakota. Please give me a call back as soon as you get this.

You know you're going to have a good night when you get two calls like that at 11 PM on a Tuesday night. I hadn't been in Grand Forks County for 4 months. That and the fact that my mom was in on the prank (if it was a prank) was very suspect. She's just not that funny.

It turns out that another blond haired kid from my home town (and about 7 years younger) and happening to have the same last name (no relation) was out getting liquored in the bar that night. When the cops said the description of the guy was "tall and skinny", I asked "Have you looked at my Driver's License? I'm not skinny" Apparently that wasn't amusing. I was then asked where I was. "At the bar." Also not amusing to the man, but true...I had watched game 6 of the Stanley Cup that night at BW3 with some coworkers.

After finally convincing this rude individual I'm not the guy he was looking for, I called my mom and told her I wasn't going to be arrested. You see, this isn't the first time I've been wanted in Grand Forks County...

My junior year of college i found out that I was the prime suspect in a large marijuana growing operation. My dad had recently bought the final remaining acres of the home quarter that he grew up on. It's about 25 acres nestled in the Turtle River Valley. Apparently, the person who bought the house across the road from the land had found a large patch of the wacky weed growing in a remote corner of the property. (I've often wondered why we didn't have him arrested for trespassing).

I was a college kid, therefore it was my weed of course. $750,000 worth in street value is what I'm told. It was a big deal...DEA helicopters and the whole shebang. My reaction?

"I've got $750k in marijuana...but I've got $20k in student loans? Yeah, I confess...it MUST be mine"

The End Is Near

I recently had one of those defining moments when you realize that you're old. Now, I've had many. Usually they involve me feeling like a dirty old man...or being told that I'm a dirty old man.

I decided I needed to pick up a new pair of flip flops on my way to the gym on Saturday so I swung into Kohls to grab a pair of Adidas sandals. To my delight I found that they had a new style that was basically what I've always wanted. A pair of flip flops that if you step in water, they have mesh in the sole and the water just runs back out. I thought to myself "Wow, I whould buy like 5 pairs so I always have some". Then I realized I was thinking like a 60 year old. The next thing you know I'll be out buying a new pair of pants and think the same thing when I find an uber comfortable pair. I'm scared.

Hope you enjoy the picture that brings together two of my three favorite shows as a kid. Replace Hasselhoff with Daisy Duke and it'd be perfect. (I'm only part German...so I don't have quite the David Hasselhoff fascination that most Germans do.)

No Bacon in my Meat Combo?!

I've come to the realization that there is no job out there that is going to ever keep 100% of my attention. I'm destined to start losing interest after about two years. I'm not sure whether to blame it on my Adult ADD or the fact that I wasn't meant to do this kind of work. There are just too many jobs out there that really don't allow you to learn anything new. They expect you to be continuously learning, but you're supposed to do that on the little free time they give you and not during your normal "40" hour week. Heck, the only reason I work is so that I can afford to do the things I like to do when I'm not at work...

This was a big week. I "celebrated" the 3 year anniversary of my decision to move back to North Dakota. In fact, I celebrated it by nearly removing my foot when I made the mistake of taking the mountain bike out with flip-flops on. I guess I'll never make that mistake again...but only after the skin on all of my toes grow back, the swelling goes down and I can actually wear shoes.

RibFest was also going on in town this week. I went with the meat combo. It's the way it should be...no slaw, no potato salad, no beans...all your side dishes are a different meat. However, how can you have all that meat and not have any bacon? Tonight's entertainment out there is Styx... Wow. I'll leave it at that...and include my favorite picture from a trip I took to Vegas.