Wanted...

At what point do you decide that "the man" has it out for you?

A couple of months ago I was doing some laundry. (Yes, I'm single and I have to do my own laundry.) I ran upstairs once I got everything squared away to find two messages on my phone.

Message #1: Hey Grant, this is your mom. We just had two people from the sheriff's department out at our place asking us where you were last night. They said that there was a high speed chase leaving the bar in Emerado last night and that someone at the bar said it was you. I hope it wasn't you, and if it was...why didn't you stop out and say hi?

Message #2: Hello Mr. Sweeney, this is so and so from the Grand Forks county sheriff's department. You are a suspect in a high speed chase and DUI last night in Emerado, North Dakota. Please give me a call back as soon as you get this.

You know you're going to have a good night when you get two calls like that at 11 PM on a Tuesday night. I hadn't been in Grand Forks County for 4 months. That and the fact that my mom was in on the prank (if it was a prank) was very suspect. She's just not that funny.

It turns out that another blond haired kid from my home town (and about 7 years younger) and happening to have the same last name (no relation) was out getting liquored in the bar that night. When the cops said the description of the guy was "tall and skinny", I asked "Have you looked at my Driver's License? I'm not skinny" Apparently that wasn't amusing. I was then asked where I was. "At the bar." Also not amusing to the man, but true...I had watched game 6 of the Stanley Cup that night at BW3 with some coworkers.

After finally convincing this rude individual I'm not the guy he was looking for, I called my mom and told her I wasn't going to be arrested. You see, this isn't the first time I've been wanted in Grand Forks County...

My junior year of college i found out that I was the prime suspect in a large marijuana growing operation. My dad had recently bought the final remaining acres of the home quarter that he grew up on. It's about 25 acres nestled in the Turtle River Valley. Apparently, the person who bought the house across the road from the land had found a large patch of the wacky weed growing in a remote corner of the property. (I've often wondered why we didn't have him arrested for trespassing).

I was a college kid, therefore it was my weed of course. $750,000 worth in street value is what I'm told. It was a big deal...DEA helicopters and the whole shebang. My reaction?

"I've got $750k in marijuana...but I've got $20k in student loans? Yeah, I confess...it MUST be mine"