Herd Mentality

8.09.2006

Great, now I have to worry about hair growing out of my ears

Two days until I turn 31. Year two of being a dirty old man begins...

Dirty old men go to WeFest. It is what we do well. I can't seem to deal with the hard living of camping there, which is great since I have some friends with a cabin out there. I can even take a real shower if I need to.

This years highlights....

1) 2 girls wearing nothing but caution tape...and not much caution tape...

2) 2 girls wearing outfits made of beer boxes...topped by the one girl yelling "YOU LIKE MY BOX?!"

3) The first 2 girls that road the mechanical bull together. Every girl after that tried to top them. Culminating in the girl who just decided to take her top off and show her boobs to everybody. Too bad she was not pretty...at all.

4)The girl who got up on stage the last night after the concerts at the saloon. Not so much that she looked hilarious standing behind the keyboard with no pants, but the fact that one of our group proclaimed "Dear God...I used to babysit that girl"

5)My Jeep may be Trail Rated, but it can't handle the driveway. I tore off a mudflap backing over a pile of seaweed in the driveway at the cabin.

6)Now I know how Gilligan felt. Who's idea was it to put 9 people in a ski boat at 3 AM when there are white caps out on the lake? I'm lucky to be alive.

7)I was in a porta-potty that had some sort of joy-stick looking thing mounted next to the seat. I want to know what the heck that is for. I was too scared to touch it. Anyone?

8)To the girl that decided to climb the rock wall in the short skirt... there are about 1000 guys that would like your number.

9)To the guy lying on his back taking pictures when his friend was climbing the rock wall....that was the best "oh shit, I gotta keep watching this because I know exactly how this is going to end" moment ever. Thank you.

10) Thank you Keith Urban. I really don't know much about your music and I'm really bummed that I didn't find your new wife, Nicole Kidman, out slumming around in the crowd...however, you did one heck of a job turning every girl at that show into a hornball. You're one heckuva Austrailian in my book.